— Emily Dickinson
Sometimes, the relaxing, couch potato-ing is nice.
But when you're sick, sick. Down to your toes, headache in your brow, nausea in stomach. When it's don't move, don't think, try to breathe normally: sick. That's never, ever enjoyable. On any level at all.
So I sit, trying to sleep, trying not to lose the contents of my stomach. Trying not to let my favorite things, my comforting memories, be tainted by the fog in my ill mind.
I think of things that haven't happened yet. Things, imaginings, I wish to come true. Things of a youthful dream. To travel. To traipse about the globe, collecting words and capturing moments.
So here's to that dream, that sweet imaging. That blip of impossibility on my bucket list.
When Winds take Forests in their Paws -- The Universe -- is still --
--Emily Dickinson
As I have gotten older, I’ve learned the respect of earning my own money and working for the things I want and need. I’ve come to understand and commit to the importance of investing in things that will be tools not only to my education, but also to my work.
Every year I participate in a gathering of other kids, grades 6-12, who come together to be encouraged in various art forms that can be used in ministry.
Fine Arts Festival.
It’s something I enjoy immensely, and not only is it a fantastic event but it’s something that at a national level could open doors for colleges, scholarships and job opportunities.
In the two years I’ve attended District Fine Arts Festival, each year I have received ‘Superior With Invitation to Nationals’ in a few categories; the main being T-Shirt Design.
However, due to limited funds and the distance a trip to Nationals would require I’ve never been able to attend.
This year is my last year to participate in Fine Arts Festival as a high school student.
I’m writing this letter of sorts, to announce something many of you have expressed interest in: my t-shirt designs.
I’ve miraculously found a talented screen printer who can produce my unique designs. And I’m very excited about it.
Thus I am starting to sell t-shirts sporting my out of the ordinary designs.
The idea is for this to be a way for me to raise the money money to make it to National Fine Arts.
This not only means the cost of registration itself, but gas, food, plane tickets, car rentals and all the materials I need.
And Orlando, Florida is a long ways away.
Now I want to present all of you with the opportunity to not only support me, but find yourself with an amazing one-of-a-kind shirt designed by yours truly. So buy one for yourself, your friends, your kids and every single extended member of your family!
My goal is to sell 888 shirts.
Shirts are $22 each and available through Etsy.
Those of you who live in my area are welcome to forgo Etsy and the shipping cost by getting in touch with me through my phone number and picking up the shirts when they become available.
I look forward to this adventure and thank all of you for your support! Both prayerful and monetary.
The idea behind this shirt design comes from Hebrews 10:24,
“And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and good works."
The word "provoke" isn't often used in relation to encouragement and love. Think of the angriest you've ever been, of what provoked you to that anger.
Now imagine someone being provoked like that, but to make a difference; to love.
Like encouragement on steroids.
Grey V-neck with blue, half-tone dot splatter, wrapping around from front to back.
Shirts are available on Pre-Shrunk, Combed, 100% Cotton, Adult Unisex V-Neck. Sizes Small through 2X.
Printed in batches of 24 shirts, pre-order now!!
from the darkest of depths new life springs in the darkest of times come birthed new dreams through the despair hope is found new life rises
{all images are mine}
still light shines through
I'm going to be honest with all of you.
The very idea of 2013 was scary to me.
But it wasn't so much a new year, but the fact that I viewed 2012 as wasted. That my laziness and fear got in the way of everything I could have done, everything I could have accomplished.
Because it's still so easy, so easy to believe in the warped perspective fed by the fear of failure. The warped perspective that by not trying, there is no risk, thus there is no chance of failing. But by not taking risk, by not stepping out, by not doing anything, by not even trying...therein is failure.
I could have done so much more in 2012. I could have accomplished so much more.
I am blinded to that which I did, but it seems to pale in comparison to what I didn't. To what I could have.
It's the fact that 2012 would, at that strike of midnight, be gone forever. That there would be no more attempts, no more chances, to redeem that year.
And it's that fear that I can already feel dragging me down. The fear that 2013 will be full of failure, that it will, at its end, be viewed as a waste.
I don't want it to be.
So here's what I want to accomplish this year. In 2013.
I want to sell t-shirts and raise the money to attend National Fine Arts Festival in August. It's my last year for Fine Arts Festival, and I want to go all the way. The only thing to ever stand in my way is money. My God is bigger than money.
I want to work hard, to truly believe in my Fine Arts entries. I don't want them to just be something I threw together, knowing it would be "good enough". I want to return to that inspiration, that feeling of joy in what I've created.
I want to finish high school math. It's the only thing standing in my way of fully graduating, I'm the only thing in the way of completing it. My own laziness, and yes, fear, of failing at math kept me from even trying. I want to finish.
I want to pay off my computer.
I want to learn how to use all the programs I have on my computer.
I want to figure out a way to go to college. A way to pay for it. I want to figure out what is worth the cost of going to college.
I want to believe in the possibility of a future beyond what I have always known.
I want to do something, go somewhere, make a difference.
I don't want to rationalize my way out of opportunities to do things because it sounds too risky or too hard.
I want to grow closer with the people I love.
I want to see my best friend's book published.
There's more. Things that don't come directly to mind...but basically, most purely, I want to try. Even if I fail. The attempt itself...for me, is a victory. I want to try, and do, and finish. So at least if I fail, it was an honest failure; because I tried.
here's to life, and hope, and a new year
I look back on the last 12 months and honestly find it feels like it hasn't been that much.
2012 came. Relentless was my word for the year.
life.is.sweet. continued longer than I expected, but not as long as I would have liked.
I continued with college classes. I shared my paper on human trafficking, hoping to spark some fire of indignation in the hearts of others.
I shared music and the happenings of life.
I bought a tablet and grew in my love of drawing, but still don't draw as much as I'd like.
I worked a number of jobs that blur together.
I earned money for District Fine Arts Festival and attended for the second time.
I bought my first nice camera.
April was 13 years since Columbine.
I read books. Not as many as I would like.
Many friends graduated.
My wisdom teeth were ripped out of my head...though "removed" is a less dramatic way to put it.
I photographed a wedding...the first time even taking pictures of people. Stress.
I attended my last camp and wrote some stuff.
My best friend got to visit my neck of the woods for the first time.
I turned 18.
I worked more jobs.
I gratefully received the blessing of a new computer. Which I am going to be paying off for the next year.
I reminisced on Autumn as my favorite season. And watched as Fall fell to winter.
I took pictures.
I geeked out over many things.
I survived yet another apocalypse. ha
My best friend finished her novel. I created something of a cover.
I made a Christmas card of sorts for all of my internet people.
There was more. Little things. Crazy things. Things I didn't share or write about or post about. Day to day things. Surprising things. Things all in the middle and on the edges.
Time continues on whether or not we want it to, even if it's existence is only of our making.
So here's to 2013. That weird new number that will be forgotten as I continue writing "2012" on everything.
I don't have a word for this year. Nothing fits yet. I wasn't so good at relentless in 2012.
But here's to 2012 and all it was. Here's to it's end, and the inevitable beginning of another.
2013.
Just a little something I whipped up yesterday as a virtual Christmas card of sorts to all of you. I'm not a terribly good artist but I think you'll get the gist of it
from me and my family, blessings this Christmas and in the New Year.
 |
| {credits} |
