music for the now - have a listen // the walk

Music is something that both encompasses, and is incredibly integral to life.

So far 2014 has been one of realization, frustration...the quarter life or downright existential crisis as it's called. Throughout everything there is always music, and I wanted to share some of the music that I think is something of a reflection, and a part, of where I am.

deep in a wood
where nothing is seen
a tightrope is strung to his heel
and high on the walk
he's down on one knee
he waits for the slow of the breeze

oh, wow
look at him now on his feet
high up in the sky

and every moment
extends endlessly
if feels as though time isn't moving
and every second
hold breath not to breathe
and watch as he moves to the beat

well down on the floor
I watch from my seat
I watch as he sways with the trees
and slowly he moves
but so elegantly
I'm all on the edge of my seat

on the tightrope
everything's bare
all that there is
from here to there
on the tightrope
the goal is quite clear
don't lose yourself in your

fear

everyone waits on a walk
some are long
and some small
but all of them tall

and everyone must make a choice
will I go for it all
possibly fall

the tightrope is thin
I could possibly win on
the walk

well high on the walk
the tightrope it bends
and nobody knows where it ends

to win or to lose
you're all on your own
'cause everyone must be alone
on the tightrope
everything's bare
all that there is
from here to there
on the tightrope
the goal is quite clear
don't lose yourself in your

fear

have a listen // hear me

try
to hear my voice
you can leave
now it's your choice

maybe if I fall asleep
I won't breathe right
maybe if I leave tonight
I won't come back

I said it before
I won't say it again
love is a game to you
it's not pretend
maybe if I fall asleep
I won't breathe right

can nobody
hear me
I got a lot that's on my mind
I cannot breathe
can you hear it too

you kiss and you kiss
and you love and you love
you got a history list and the rest is above
and if you're warm
then you can't relate to me

from the floor to the floor
and the sky to the sky
you've got to love and adore
and the rest is awry
and if you're warm
then you can't relate to me

I said it before
I won't say it again
love is a game to you
it's not pretend
maybe if I fall asleep
I won't breathe right
right
right

can nobody
hear me
I got a lot that's on my mind
I cannot breathe
can you hear it too

leave your shoes at the door
baby
I am all you adore
lately

come with me
and we will run away

can nobody
hear me
I got a lot that's on my mind
I cannot breathe
can you hear it too
x2

those moments

those moments
when everything just feels right
hands warmed
optimism...existing
everything holding still
music swelling

and in these moments
there is peace
there is hope
there is authenticity
there is contentment


This afternoon I've had such a moment, birthing this poem from it while listening to Agnes Obel.
It's just one of those moments.

I've recently shared my feelings that the title of Concrete & Grace is one that, while nonetheless good and meaningful, is one I feel does not entirely fit any longer.

Earlier this week I took the first step in making the change from C&G to something new.

I do not have a title for this, my blog, any longer. If there were one to be ascribed to it it would be 'nameless'.

Thus for the time being, until such a day as a new title may come about, it shall be adorned by words only of the address or, upcoming my hope is a sort of logo or insignia of my own design. Use of the address can be seen in my new header.

I am at an in-between.
Changing, but not changing.
Thus my blog is changing in more than just design.
I feel it just suits better.

WATCHING: pride and prejudice LISTENING: aventine (album) by agnes obel

have a listen // now

don't try to take this from me
don't try to take this from me
<< NOW >>
x2

feels like I'm waking from the dead
and everyone's been waiting on me
at least now I never have to wonder
what it's like to sleep a year away
thought we were indestructible
I thought we could brave it all >>
I never thought that what could take me out was hiding down below

lost the battle >>
win the war
bringing my sinking ship back to the shore

starting over >>
we'll head back in

there's a time and a place to die
but this ain't it

if there's a future we want it
<< NOW >>
x4

don't try to take this from me
don't try to take this from me
<< NOW >>
x2

wish I could find a crystal ball
for the days I feel completely worthless
you know I'd use it all for good
I would not take it for granted
inside a house of memories
for the days I don't feel anything
at the least they'll remember
not to make the same mistakes again

lost the battle >>
win the war
bringing my sinking ship back to the shore

starting over >>
we'll head back in

there's a time and a place to die
but this ain't it

if there's a future we want it
<< NOW >>
x4

there's a time and a place to die
there's a time and a place to die
and this ain't it
there's a time and a place to die
and this ain't it
THIS AIN'T IT >>
THIS AIN'T IT >>
there's a time and a place to die
there's a time and a place to die
and this ain't it >>
NO >>

if there's a future we want it
<< NOW >>
x3

if there's a future we want it
<< NOW >>
<< NOW >>
<< NOW >>

have a listen // unstable

you came out of nowhere
but who could you hold wild horse unstable
do you still do as you're told
think you're wild and you're free now
think you can cover me
well save yourself
pretend like you don't do what you're told

come around
let me in

how can I talk you down from that ledge
unless you let me in

you heard when I called you
but you still lost your way

are you able
to do just what you know

taught me to trust now
yet you have no faith
in yourself
why can't you believe in what you know

come around
darling
let me in

how can I talk you down from that ledge
unless you let me in

how can I talk you down
unless you come around

come around
come around

come around
darling
let me in

how can I talk you down from that ledge
unless you let me in

come around
let me in

I'll talk you down from that ledge
if you let me in
lovely

have a listen // dead american

shock to the system cause you’re out of control
saved your body but you’re losing your soul
you really feel this?
you really feel this?
we’ve got so much but so little to show
falling down but we follow the goal
we really need this
do we really need this?

I won’t live
on the lie
we’re told
we’re told, we’re told

we’ve got it right
we’ve got it right now
we’ve got it right
we’ve got it right now
we’ve got it right
we’ve got it right now
we’ve got it right
we’ve got it all

don’t care about those who you try to impress
hide the demons there under the dress
you really got them
you think you really got them

I told you
"show the world
who you are
who you really are”

we’ve got it right
we’ve got it right now
we’ve got it right
we’ve got it right now
we’ve got it right
we’ve got it right now
we’ve got it right
we’ve got it right
we want it all
we want it all back
we’ll take it all
we’ll take it all down
we want it right
we want it right now
we’ll take it all
we want it all

…of the dead American dreams
dead American dreams
I chose to
to be free from testifying
indebted American dream

we’ve got it right
we’ve got it right now
we’ve got it right
we’ve got it right now
we’ve got it right
we’ve got it right now
we’ve got it right
we’ve got it right
we want it all
we want it all back
we’ll take it all
we’ll take it all down
we want it right
we want it right now
we’ll take it all
we want it all

have a listen // do or die

in the middle of the night
when the angels scream
I don't want to live a lie that I believe

time to do or die

I will never forget
the moment
the moment
I will never forget
the moment
the moment

and the story goes

<< on >>
x3

that's how the story goes
that's how the story goes

you and I will never die
it's a dark embrace

in the beginning was life
a dawning age
time to be alive

I will never forget
the moment
the moment
I will never forget
this night
we sing
we sing

<< on >>
x3

that's how the story goes

fate is coming
that I know

time is running
got to go

faith is coming
that I know

let it go

here right now
under the banner of heaven
we dream out loud

do or die
and the story goes

<< on >>
x3

and the story goes
<< on >>
x3

this is the story

fate is coming
that I know
(this is the story)

time is running
got to go
(this is the story)

fate is coming
that I know
(this is the story)

let it go

here right now
under the banner of heaven
we dream out loud
dream out loud

fate is coming
that I know
(time to do or die)

time is running out
(time to do or die)

fate is coming
that I know
(time to do or die)

let it go

new years eve

As I am sure all of you will have realized, it is New Year's Eve.
At least it is here in snowy Washington. Obviously there are other places in the world where it's already 2014, but for me and my point in time, 2013 remains.

If you're looking for it, here's my 2013-2014, end of the year, reflection type post.
And here's Christmas.

I start school next Monday. I'm a little bit anxious about it really. I've been rather excited. Then the excitement changed to completely ignoring the fact, to being stressed about it.
I know I shouldn't be worried about it, and that I'll do fine, but here I am; anxious.

I've been sick these past couple weeks. First with that which was akin to the flu, and now with something that is either a head cold, or a sinus infection. I really don't recommend it.

My listening has again broadened this past week or so, having downloaded some new albums.
My recently added playlist currently consists of:
Disc 1 of Devotion by Anberlin
the soundtrack for Pitch Perfect
a couple of Josh Garrels albums I didn't have
A Song For The Search by Solstice
Speak Every Word by This is the Giant
Home by TRAVELLER
Modern Vampires of the City by Vampire Weekend
and finally Rise by Skillet
and We As Human's title album since I should be seeing them in concert next month.

And of course, I am still thoroughly enjoying the album Bad Blood by Bastille, as well as the American Authors self titled EP.
The album I feel taking me into the new year however, is one that I listened to very much this summer, Love Lust Faith + Dreams by Thirty Seconds to Mars. What is probably my favorite song from the album, Do or Die, inspired my typography/art at the top of the post. (have a listen coming tomorrow!)

I am hoping to be finishing Fellowship Of The Ring today, to add another check to the number of times I've read it. Planning to follow it with Two Towers at some point, though quite possibly not before I finish The Silmarillion and Girl In The Arena, which I'm also re-reading. Not entirely sure. But I've been trying to reignite my passion for reading to what it once was.

Friday I am eagerly awaiting my chance to go and see The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. An avid Jackson and Tolkien fan though I am, I have yet to see this long anticipated continuation of the trilogy's prequel. Our movie theater is small, and privately owned. One movie a week, Friday - Monday, one showing per day at 7pm. Thus we are lucky to get movies a month or so after their general release. It's an understatement to say I'm excited.

I am hoping to spend my New Year's Eve with a dear friend, marathoning Sherlock in geeky anticipation for the season three return, tomorrow.

Right now however, I have chores to finish, work I should do, and reading I'd really like to do.

See you all next year.

have a listen // i see fire

oh misty eye of the mountain below
keep careful watch of my brothers’ souls
and should the sky be filled with fire and smoke
keep watching over Durin’s son

if this is to end in fire
then we shall all burn together
watch the flames climb high
into the night
calling out father
oh
stand by and we will
watch the flames burn auburn on the mountain side

and if we should die tonight
then we should all die together
raise a glass of wine
for the last time
calling out father
oh
prepare as we will
watch the flames burn auburn on the mountain side
desolation comes upon the sky

now I see fire
inside the mountain
I see fire
burning the trees
and I see fire
hollowing souls
I see fire
blood in the breeze
and I hope that you’ll remember me

oh
should my people fall
then surely I’ll do the same
confined in mountain halls
we got too close to the flame
calling out father
oh
hold fast and we will
watch the flames burn auburn on the mountain side
desolation comes upon the sky

now I see fire
inside the mountain
I see fire
burning the trees
and I see fire
hollowing souls
I see fire
blood in the breeze
and I hope that you’ll remember me

and if the night is burning
I will cover my eyes
for if the dark returns then
my brothers will die
and as the sky’s falling down
it crashed into this lonely town
and with that shadow upon the ground
I hear my people screaming out

and I see fire
inside the mountain
I see fire
burning the trees
I see fire
hollowing souls
I see fire
blood in the breeze

I see fire
oh you know I saw a city burning (fire)
I see fire
feel the heat upon my skin (fire)
and I see fire (fire)
and I see fire burn auburn on the mountain side

have a listen // things we lost in the fire

things we lost to the flames
things we'll never see again

all that we've amassed
sits before us
shattered into ash

these are the things
the things we lost
the things we lost in the fire fire fire
these are the things
the things we lost
the things we lost in the fire fire fire

we sat and made a list
of all the things that we had
down the backs of table tops
ticket stubs and your diaries

I read them all one day
when loneliness came and you were away
oh they told me nothing new
but I love to read the words you used

these are the things
the things we lost
the things we lost in the fire fire fire
these are the things
the things we lost
the things we lost in the fire fire fire

<< oh >>

I was the match
and you were the rock
maybe we started this fire

we sat apart and watched
all we had burned on the pyre

(you said) we were born with nothing
and we sure as hell have nothing now
x2

these are the things
the things we lost
the things we lost in the fire fire fire
these are the things
the things we lost
the things we lost in the fire fire fire

do you understand that we will never be the same again?
x2

the future's in our hands and we will never be the same again
x2

these are the things
the things we lost
the things we lost in the fire fire fire
these are the things
the things we lost
the things we lost in the fire fire fire

these are the things
the things we lost
these are the things we lost in the fire fire fire

<< oh >>

flames – they licked the walls
tenderly they turned to dust
all that I adore

have a listen // fuel to fire

do you want me on your mind
or do you want me
to go on
I might be yours
as sure as I can say
be gone be faraway

roses on parade
they follow you around
upon your shore
as sure as I can say
be gone be faraway

like fuel to fire

into the town we go
into your hideaway
where the towers grow
gone to be faraway
sing quietly along

pious words to cry into the under
upon your shore
as sure as I can say
be gone be faraway

oh what a day to choose
torn by the hours
all that I say to you
is like fuel to fire

into the town we go
into your hideaway
where the towers grow
gone to be faraway
never do we know
never do they give away
where the towers grow
only you will hear them say
sing quietly along
sing quietly along

have a listen // flaws

when all of your flaws
and all of my flaws
are laid out one by one
a wonderful part of the mess that we made
we pick ourselves undone

all of your flaws
and all of my flaws
they lie there hand in hand
ones we've inherited
ones that we learned
they pass from man to man

there's a hole in my soul
I can't fill it
I can't fill it
there's a hole in my soul
can you fill it
can you fill it

you have always worn your flaws
upon your sleeve
and I have always buried them
deep beneath the ground
dig them up
let's finish what we've started
dig them up
so nothing's left unturned

all of your flaws
and all of my flaws
when they have been exhumed
we'll see that we need them
to be who we are
without them we'd be doomed

there's a hole in my soul
I can't fill it
I can't fill it
there's a hole in my soul
can you fill it
can you fill it

you have always worn your flaws
upon your sleeve
and I have always buried them
deep beneath the ground
dig them up
let's finish what we've started
dig them up
so nothing's left unturned

<< oh >>
x2

when all of your flaws
and all of my flaws
are counted
x2

you have always worn your flaws
upon your sleeve
and I have always buried them
deep beneath the ground
dig them up
let's finish what we've started
dig them up
so nothing's left unturned

<< oh >>
x2

all of your flaws
and all of my flaws
are laid out one by one
a wonderful part of the mess that we made
we pick ourselves undone

have a listen // the silence

I have been greatly enjoying one album in particular as of late, one I only recently got my hands on.
I speak of Bad Blood by Bastille.
It receives a thorough recommendation from me, for both the particularity of the music itself, and for the lyrics.

Every morning for over a week after I downloaded the album I had one of the songs playing in my head when I woke up.

So sit back, get out your headphones, and have a listen.

tell me a piece of your history
that you're proud to call your own

speak in words you picked up
as you walked through life alone

we used to swim in your stories
and be pulled down by their tide
choking on the words
and drowning with no air inside

now you've hit a wall and it's not your fault
my dear, my dear, my dear

now you've hit a wall and you've hit it hard
my dear, my dear, oh dear

it is not enough to be dumbstruck
can you fill the silence
you must have the words in that head of yours

and

<< oh >>
x2

can you feel the silence
I can't take it anymore
'cause it is not enough to be dumbstruck
can you fill the silence

tell me a piece of your history
that you've never said out loud

pull the rug beneath my feet
and shake me to the ground

wrap me around your fingers
break the silence open wide

and before it seeps into my ears
it fills me up from the inside

now you've hit a wall and you're lost for words
my dear, my dear, my dear
now you've hit a wall and you hit it hard
my dear, my dear, oh dear

it is not enough to be dumbstruck
can you fill this silence
you must have the words in that head of yours

and

<< oh >>
x2

can you feel the silence
I can't take it anymore
'cause it is not enough to be dumbstruck
can you fill the silence

if you give it a name
then it's already won
what you good for
what you good for
x4

it is not enough to be dumbstruck
can you fill this silence
you must have the words in that head of yours

and

<< oh >>
x2

can you feel the silence
I can't take it anymore
'cause it is not enough to be dumbstruck
oh

have a listen // vox populi

Merry Christmas!

Just a little something I whipped up yesterday as a virtual Christmas card of sorts to all of you.
I'm not a terribly good artist but I think you'll get the gist of it

from me and my family, blessings this Christmas and in the New Year.

12 Days of Christmas Music // Day 12

Christmas Song // Flyleaf

12 Days of Christmas Music // Day 11

Santa Claus is Thumbing to Town // Relient K

12 Days of Christmas Music // Day 9

We Wish You a Merry Christmas // Relient K

12 Days of Christmas Music // Day 8

Go, Tell It on the Mountain // BarlowGirl

12 Days of Christmas Music // Day 7

Feliz Navidad // David Crowder Band