have a listen // fuel to fire

do you want me on your mind
or do you want me
to go on
I might be yours
as sure as I can say
be gone be faraway

roses on parade
they follow you around
upon your shore
as sure as I can say
be gone be faraway

like fuel to fire

into the town we go
into your hideaway
where the towers grow
gone to be faraway
sing quietly along

pious words to cry into the under
upon your shore
as sure as I can say
be gone be faraway

oh what a day to choose
torn by the hours
all that I say to you
is like fuel to fire

into the town we go
into your hideaway
where the towers grow
gone to be faraway
never do we know
never do they give away
where the towers grow
only you will hear them say
sing quietly along
sing quietly along

the bullying experiment

This came across one of my social media feeds yesterday, and after sharing it on Facebook, today I realized I wanted to post it here to share with all of you (however many or few there may be).

Bullying is a seriously problem, especially in America.
One of the most horrible consequences of bullying is suicide, and bullying is most common inside our schools.
Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for Americans age 15-24. [x]

I know first hands the effects bullying has. And despite all the anti-bullying campaigns schools implement, it doesn't do much unless we all get serious about standing up and saying no.

I've always been taught by my parents to fight back, to fight for those who can't, to stand up for what I believe in and say "no, this isn't okay" when something is happening that isn't right or that I don't agree with.

In my own experience, I've come to know that standing by and doing noting, being a bystander when someone is being bullied, is just as bad as doing the bullying yourself.

Please, please, please, keep yourself and others safe. Bullying can only be prevented, and stopped, if we stop it. If we stand up, and we say ENOUGH.

have a laugh // asdfmovie

If you're not in on random, internet comedy, the following series of flashy quick animated hilarities, are probably not for you.
Whether asdfmovie is an old favorite, or you're new, if you tread forward I do so sincerely hope you have a laugh.

have a listen // flaws

when all of your flaws
and all of my flaws
are laid out one by one
a wonderful part of the mess that we made
we pick ourselves undone

all of your flaws
and all of my flaws
they lie there hand in hand
ones we've inherited
ones that we learned
they pass from man to man

there's a hole in my soul
I can't fill it
I can't fill it
there's a hole in my soul
can you fill it
can you fill it

you have always worn your flaws
upon your sleeve
and I have always buried them
deep beneath the ground
dig them up
let's finish what we've started
dig them up
so nothing's left unturned

all of your flaws
and all of my flaws
when they have been exhumed
we'll see that we need them
to be who we are
without them we'd be doomed

there's a hole in my soul
I can't fill it
I can't fill it
there's a hole in my soul
can you fill it
can you fill it

you have always worn your flaws
upon your sleeve
and I have always buried them
deep beneath the ground
dig them up
let's finish what we've started
dig them up
so nothing's left unturned

<< oh >>
x2

when all of your flaws
and all of my flaws
are counted
x2

you have always worn your flaws
upon your sleeve
and I have always buried them
deep beneath the ground
dig them up
let's finish what we've started
dig them up
so nothing's left unturned

<< oh >>
x2

all of your flaws
and all of my flaws
are laid out one by one
a wonderful part of the mess that we made
we pick ourselves undone

geekery, school, and blogging

If you're reading this, you may have noticed that just yesterday I launched a new design for Concrete & Grace!
(Or, if you're reading this via bloglovin, or an email subscription, click here to check it out!)

I was going to go with a classic black and white, but along the way the idea of a deep blue background and coinciding color scheme invokative of the winter night sky just wouldn't leave my mind. Obviously it's not that far template-wise from what I had, but it is simple, elegant even. And most of all: I really, really like the change.

I've used the back-to-back C&G logo in the past, but wanted to bring it back in a more classic font (Times New Roman has grown on me.) for it to have uses further into the future. Inspiration for it can be closely linked to the well known Chanel logo.

In other news, yesterday I finished getting my financial aid stuff worked out, and am officially - and happily - registered for classes! Registered, with textbooks reserved, and extra funds awarded left over! I am so incredibly thankful!

I only have three classes right now, just enough to fulfill my requirements for financial aid (12 credit minimum). Just general, get it out of the way classes. Namely: music appreciation, intro to film, and a computer sciences class focusing on Excel.

If you happen to follow me on tumblr, or on Instagram, you may know I'm a fan of a podcast called Welcome To Night Vale. It's bizarre, funny, and not for every person; but I adore it.
For incredibly nerdy reasons that involve both WTNV and Star Trek, I am in love with this shirt I bought a few weeks ago that arrived in the mail on Monday.

In fact, I am very much wearing it today!

Last night my family and I watched Epic for the first time; and I have to say, I wish I had taken the time to see it sooner!
I thoroughly enjoyed it, from the soundtrack, to the comedy, the action, the vocal talent, to (of course) the gorgeous animation.
Wow.
It earns a definite recommendation from me!

That's really all I have for now, but don't miss today's other post; one of my recent, favorite songs, from one of the albums I've had on repeat for the last month. And check back in tomorrow for some more tunes, and Friday for some hilarity in the form of a favorite YouTube video.

LISTENING: aventine (album) by agnes obel (re)READING: fellowship of the ring by j.r.r. tolkien WATCHING: epic

have a listen // the silence

I have been greatly enjoying one album in particular as of late, one I only recently got my hands on.
I speak of Bad Blood by Bastille.
It receives a thorough recommendation from me, for both the particularity of the music itself, and for the lyrics.

Every morning for over a week after I downloaded the album I had one of the songs playing in my head when I woke up.

So sit back, get out your headphones, and have a listen.

tell me a piece of your history
that you're proud to call your own

speak in words you picked up
as you walked through life alone

we used to swim in your stories
and be pulled down by their tide
choking on the words
and drowning with no air inside

now you've hit a wall and it's not your fault
my dear, my dear, my dear

now you've hit a wall and you've hit it hard
my dear, my dear, oh dear

it is not enough to be dumbstruck
can you fill the silence
you must have the words in that head of yours

and

<< oh >>
x2

can you feel the silence
I can't take it anymore
'cause it is not enough to be dumbstruck
can you fill the silence

tell me a piece of your history
that you've never said out loud

pull the rug beneath my feet
and shake me to the ground

wrap me around your fingers
break the silence open wide

and before it seeps into my ears
it fills me up from the inside

now you've hit a wall and you're lost for words
my dear, my dear, my dear
now you've hit a wall and you hit it hard
my dear, my dear, oh dear

it is not enough to be dumbstruck
can you fill this silence
you must have the words in that head of yours

and

<< oh >>
x2

can you feel the silence
I can't take it anymore
'cause it is not enough to be dumbstruck
can you fill the silence

if you give it a name
then it's already won
what you good for
what you good for
x4

it is not enough to be dumbstruck
can you fill this silence
you must have the words in that head of yours

and

<< oh >>
x2

can you feel the silence
I can't take it anymore
'cause it is not enough to be dumbstruck
oh

and winter came

Winter arrived. It came on the wind, arriving stealthily in the night just as everyone in our small community seemed to have finally accepted summers end, and falls fire.

That's often how it is here. The seasons go on changing, but no one can seem to accept them, or even enjoy them to their fullest as they're too caught up in mourning the passing of the last.

Me, I do so love the changing seasons. I take joy in savoring each moment of every one of them.
The first buds of spring, the lake in summer, every aspect of fall, and the clear, cold, starry, snow filled skies of winter.

Seasons change on the wind. If you have a knack for it, you can hear the next coming.
Each has their own sound, their own smell. Their own feeling that can call upon memories of seasons past.

Though it seems like the seasons are changing faster than ever, I'm finding that it's all the more reason to enjoy every aspect of each of them.
To seize the day.

carpe diem // patientia // memento mori // memento vivre.
here's to life

LISTENING: bad blood (album) by bastille (re)READING: fellowship of the ring by j.r.r. tolkien WATCHING: 2 broke girls

Here's the thing...

I haven't posted in months. In fact, I have started many, many posts but have found myself unable to finish them because I become overwhelmed with my excuses and recapping.
As it is I have considered on more than one occasion whether or not I should "abandon" this blog completely.

That isn't going to happen; the recapping, excuses, nor abandonment.

So this post isn't a recap of everything that has happened since I last posted. It isn't any excuses for my lack of ambition towards this blog.

It is just a post. A post about how I am, and what is happening now.

As of right now, on the eve of a new Monday, I have many things I need to accomplish this week.

The one closest to my mind is some rather big news.
I have been wading my way through the financial aid process this fall at the continued insistence, encouragement, and support of my parents. While it, both their support, insistence, and encouragement, and the process, have at times been completely overwhelming to me - carrying the anxiety that I do - I am very glad for all the help I've had. Not only from my parents, but from an old teacher and very much from the lovely lady who works at the local branch of the closest community college.
It's been harrowing for me to say the least.
But I pressed on, in no small feat for one such as myself. (non-committment girl)

While my biggest anxiety springs from the doubts about my future, not solidly knowing just what I want to do, study, or even if I wanted to go to college, I find myself very...relieved, at where I find myself.

When it became clear that I should be eligible for what could be really good financial aid, I had to decide.
Since I have been working already for a couple years, gathering credits in general classes -  such as history, english, and the like - it became clear that if everything were to be paid for, I might as well continue in that and obtain my AA degree.
All that general stuff that takes up two years in normal college.
At least then it's more transferable than just credits of classes completed, and it's that much less I'll have to find a way to pay for should I decide upon attending a university to have a more focused study.

After all the paperwork and communication it took, it was time to wait. And for the last month and a half (give or take a few days) I have been waiting. First, waiting for the last form to go through, and then mostly and mainly just waiting to be awarded funds.

I am on the brink of exuberance when I say that, upon checking just this past week, I was finally awarded funds for winter, and spring quarter!

Tomorrow, I am hoping to find out just what all it is covering. With any luck there will be some left over for textbooks. Fingers crossed, eh?

I still don't know just what I want to do in my life, I have dreams, ideas, wishes, sure. But I have no definitive direction right now.
I'm not sure what scares me more to be honest; not having a direction, or having one.

It is my hope that as I finish up my general classes things will become clearer.

And, whether or not it is on to some university after that, or something else entirely different;
here's to life

LISTENING: on our way by the royal concept (re)READING: fellowship of the ring by j.r.r. tolkien WATCHING: downtown abbey